


Can't Win

by RecordRewind



Category: Venom (Comics)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Multi, Other, Vignette, daddy kink only not really, eddie can't even with these two, the beard made me do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 04:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecordRewind/pseuds/RecordRewind
Summary: “I was kidding! Just kidding!” Flash was laughing so hard he was almost in tears. He reached around his lover’s waist and up to his arm, trying to snatch the disposable razor out of his hand. “I didn’t mean it. Please, I love the beard…”(Flash makes a joke, things of course escalate, and the Symbiote isn't helping)





	Can't Win

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Eddie's beard, in the hope he never shaves it.

 

 

“I was kidding! Just kidding!” Flash was laughing so hard he was almost in tears. He reached around his lover’s waist and up to his arm, trying to snatch the disposable razor out of his hand. “I didn’t mean it. Please, I love the beard…”

Eddie kept the razor out of Flash’s reach. “Too late. I can’t unhear that.” He glanced at his reflection in the bathroom’s mirror, looking at his beard with a mixture of distaste and regret. “Time to say good-bye…”

“No, come on! Venom? Help me?”

A tentacle materialized beside Eddie’s back and quickly snatched the razor, lifting it high enough Eddie couldn’t reach it.

_**I agree with Flash. The beard is nice.** _

Eddie glared at the tentacle. “Oh, you too, uh?”

Flash hugged his waist, still chuckling. “I. Didn’t mean. It.”

Eddie shook his head. “I can’t believe… I’m only four years older than you. And in any case, no. Just, no.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Flash leaned against the back of the wheelchair, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender and shooting Eddie his most innocent look ever. “Don’t shave, please, it looks really good on you. I love how it tickles, too.”

_**It gives you a… distinguished look.** _

That made Eddie raise an eyebrow, but Flash nodded with enthusiasm. “Exactly! An Asgardian look, I dare to say. So, leave it?”

“Just…” Eddie sighed. “Don’t you call me that ever again, please.”

“Cross my heart,” Flash looked at him with gravity. “I promise to behave… daddy.”

He burst into laughter again, as Eddie groaned very loudly and started rummaging in the drawer under the sink, muttering “Come to think of it I need to trim it before shaving, where are the scissors…”

“You know… it makes me cringe almost as much as you, but I swear your reaction makes it worth it.”

“We’ll see if you say that again when your… ‘daddy’ sends you to bed without sex.”

“See, you are already getting into the right mindset… and thank you, partner,” Flash added as the Symbiote handed him the scissors, and his electric razor for good measure.

_**No problem.** _

“I just can’t win with you two, can I…?” Eddie sighed. The Symbiote nuzzled against his bearded cheek, and he reached to stroke its head, still glaring.

“No. You can’t.” Flash pulled on his t-shirt, to lower him almost eye level with himself.

“Da–” Eddie closed the distance and shut him down with a kiss. He tried very hard to stay annoyed, despite the way he could feel Flash grinning into the kiss, and the Symbiote’s amusement echoing into their bond, making him want to smile too. He failed.


End file.
